This is me when I was 10. I remember asking God one day, “Why did you make me a girl?” I wanted to be a boy more than anything.

Maybe it was because I was the only girl my age in our neighborhood. Maybe it was because I felt powerless when my older sister died. Maybe, if I were a boy, I could rewrite my own sad story.

But God didn’t answer that prayer. I grew up, & I stayed a girl. And although I struggled for years to understand myself, God was kind to me, constantly affirming who he’d made me to be:

Woman. Mother. Wife. Christian.

This is me now. And I’m thankful. Because if I’d made myself in my own image, there would have been so much pain, sadness & confusion inside of me. But even more, if I’d ignored God’s voice to pursue my own feelings, I would have run away from the one who not only made me, but loves me; & that would have been tragic. I didn’t create myself to begin with- He made me, so how can I re-make myself? The truth is, I’m too blinded by my own sinful heart to even begin to define myself… & my true identity can only be found in Him.

I’ve been conquered by the weaponless love of the cross, & I’m grateful. Jesus has made it impossible for me to do whatever I want with my life. Now I want His will, not my own- come what may. Like I sing in my song Man of Sorrows, “Write the pages of my story, as you only know the way it goes.”

Who am I? I am His. I’m a new creation. He took away my sin, & gave me His righteousness in its place. I’m so glad He’s the one writing my story.